Comical Home Security Fails That Will Teach You What NOT To Do

Monica Gray - March 6, 2023

Photo: Bored Panda

Installing proper home security is one of the most important aspects to protecting your home. Without a proper security system, your home is open to potential theft and robberies. To keep you and your family safe, it’s important to install cameras, deadbolts, and locks. You can also get a guard dog, use light timers, and secure gates that make it almost impossible for a burglar to jump over. Better yet, if you’re on a budget, you can use several DIY security hacks to make it easy and inexpensive to protect your home. Sometimes, though, people think they’re installing a proper security system when it’s a comical security failure that makes no difference in home protection. We’ve curated a list of the most hilarious security fails that people installed in their homes. We’re not sure where their common sense went, but it’s obvious they didn’t think these things through.

This Ladder Gate Gives Burglars A Hand In Scaling Your Defenses

This is basically a warm welcome for a burglar. It’s possible a burglar designed this gate since it’s the epitome of easy access. This home security is the opposite of being secure, it invites burglars into people’s homes. If you’re going to get a gate, make sure no one can climb it. It’s practically a ladder with a welcome sign. You can also customize a fence to match the design of your property. You can choose a double swing gate, sliding gate, or bi-fold swing gate to ensure there’s space for your car (losgatosironworks).

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Place Your Cameras In A Strategic Place

Unlike this person, make sure your cameras are protected from the elements. Even though a security camera is waterproof and weatherproof, it’s best to not place it directly under a stream of water. You need to install your cameras in the front, back, and sides of your home, in addition to the interior of your home, like in front of your front door. Windows that don’t face a street are also prone to break-ins, so it’s a good idea to put a camera facing the window, too (Safewise).

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Attention Thieves, Carry ID

In South Africa, farmers tried their best to protect their farms by installing threatening signs. We’re not sure what thieve would listen to this sign, but it gets its point across. Putting a sign like this on the front of your home might make a thief laugh, but it surely won’t stop them from breaking into your house. There are several door and window stickers, and signs you can put in your front yard, that would deter a burglar from entering your home (Safe Now).

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Make Sure Your Camera Faces The Right Way

We understand installing cameras around your home and yard is one of the best tactics to deter a criminal and keep your home safe. But there’s no point in having a camera if it’s facing the wrong way. They must be expecting burglars to drop from the sky. According to Safewise, “finding the right angle to complement camera placement is equally as important as the placement itself. If you place your home security cameras directly above windows or doors and fail to angle them appropriately, you may only catch the top of a burglar’s head.” They suggest putting them a couple of feet next to the door, with the camera angled towards the entrance. A burglar can walk right past this camera and never get spotted. The only thing this camera will capture is the black pole it’s facing (Daxos157).

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The Pit Bulls Are Loose

No one wants to mess with an angry dog. This Reddit user was locked out of their home after reading this sign. Honestly, this might even be enough to deter a criminal who believes an angry pit bull might attack him. Not only that but the ADT alarm system is set, meaning any wrong move and the alarms will go off. Dealing with not only an alarm system but angry pit bulls, too, is enough to keep anyone far away from your home, though it won’t deter a courageous robber. It’s also a known fact that pit bulls love humans, so it’s more likely the pit bull will run up to the intruder and try to lick it than bite it (Shaw102307).

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You Only Need One Lock, Not Six

Think about it. There’s only one part of the gate you need to open, not six. Unlocking one-luck opens the entire gate. Did this person want to deter someone by making it seem like a huge Tetris puzzle? Whoever designed this completely failed. When you’re trying to lock your gate, make sure you only use one well-made, durable lock. According to Bobvila, “deadbolt door locks are the most secure type of key lock,” and “Grade 1 is the highest grade and provides the most security.” If you’re looking to install locks, go for a Grade 1 lock. These locks need to be unmovable, tough, and unpickable to prevent burglars from getting into your home (Safewise).

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Get A Real Electric Fence

Electric fences keep your animals safe and keep unwanted animals out of your home. You can also keep unwanted people out of your home. No one wants to jump over an electric fence because of the strong electrical jolt they might get. This deters burglars from entering your home. But to have an effective electric fence, you need to make sure it’s electric. This security failure tried to replicate an electric fence with a wooden fence. Anyone with common sense would realize this isn’t electric. It wouldn’t do much in terms of keeping your property safe (A1 Fence Products).

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Make Sure Your Locked Gate Covers All Open Areas Of Your Home

At first glance, this gate looks sturdy and tall. But if you look to the right of the gate, you’ll notice a beautiful patch of flowers and a vast, open space where anyone can walk through. The gate serves no purpose. It seems like a waste of material to even have the fence there. Anyone could walk next to the gate and straight into your home. When you’re installing a gate, make sure it wraps around all open areas of your home for optimal home security. You’ll need side mounts and proper placement and locking mechanisms (Masterseal Online).

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Keep Your Food Safe With An Actual Lock

If you have a pesky roommate who’s prone to stealing food, or if you want to keep your kids out of the dessert pantry, you can install a lock. This security failure portrays a chain wrapped around the fridge to deter their roommate from eating their food. It’s a little bit over the top, considering the amount of effort and time it takes to unlock it and relock it. They get their message across, although it’s pointless. You can install a durable adhesive pad with a code and attach it to your fridge or drawer (Bahamas).

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Get A Peephole On A Windowless Door

For some reason, these people thought installing a peephole on their door would keep their homes safe and protected. But what they failed to notice is the giant window next to the peephole, which allows anyone and everyone to look through. If you’re going to install a peephole, do it on a door with no windows. Or, to keep your house extra protected, with high security, don’t install doors with huge windows. If a burglar is stalking your house, this is a great way for them to keep track of your whereabouts. If you do have big windows, install curtains, bars, and locks to prevent break-ins (Windowfilm Depot).

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There Are Other Ways To Protect Your Bike

Unfortunately, bike theft is a common problem. It’s said there are more than 188,500 bicycle thefts reported each year in the United States, which is a shocking statistic, considering not every theft is reported. This person figured the best way to prevent bike theft is to make their bike accessible to anyone and everyone, including themselves. We’re not sure how they’re planning to get this bike down, or how they got it there in the first place (Markel Insurance).

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Measurements Here Were A Little… Off

It looks like the person who installed the latch on this door were asleep. Not only did they place the latch in the wrong place, but they completely missed the latch by a long shot. According to Assa Abloy, “privacy door latches are essential to hotel room privacy, but they also work in other applications such as university dormitories, military housing, and apartment residences. A privacy latch is typically affixed to an interior door and allows occupants an additional method to restrict access to their room.” Having only a latch on your door isn’t enough to secure your door, though it does add a little bit of protection. Still, a deadbolt is the best lock to use to secure your door (Bomacs Locksmiths).

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Keep Your Codes Protected

These people don’t worry about security. They posted their door code right on their door. This means anyone and everyone who can read numbers can get through the door. To keep your home safe, never post a code reminder above the door. Keep those numbers secure and tucked away. This goes for your Wi-Fi code too, since a hacker could easily get into your home through your unprotected Wi-Fi code. To do this, enable network encryption, change the default name of your Wi-Fi, and make your password unique (US Norton).

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Don’t Install Locks On Your Bottom Drawer

As seen on Reddit, this user posted, “I’ll never forget the time that my mom installed this lock in one of her bathroom drawers when I was a kid,” and her mom used to lock their phones in the drawer. Did she leave her common sense in the kitchen? It’s easy to take the upper drawer off and have full access to the contents beneath. If you’re trying to hide something from your kids or a burglar, make sure you don’t use the bottom drawer. It’s better to install a safe with an impenetrable code lock. Safes will also protect your valuables against fire and water (Safe Wise).

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Fuzzy Brown Images Might Impair Your Security Tactics

When installing security cameras, you not only need to make sure they see your entire home, but you also need to make sure they’re out of the way of tiny critters and animals. This user posted this photo with the caption, “Camera Flickers To Fuzzy Brown Image Often,” and we can see why. While it’s adorable there’s a little bird in the security camera, it can cause an issue if it happens to be in your camera during a burglary. That’d be bad timing, and it would seem like the bird is on the burglar’s side. Make sure you place them in your front yard, backyard, and interior of your home (CNET).

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Fake Signs Never Work

To make your house more secure, you could install fake security signs that say you have a security system installed. This is a good tactic if you’re on your way to installing proper cameras and alarms in your house. But the downside to fake signs is that any skilled robber will recognize the fake signs, or know it’s a fake company. All it takes is a quick Google search and you have all your answers. Don’t be like this security guard, who put up a lifesize photo of an actual security guard holding a shotgun. Behind the board, he’s taking a nap. For a second, it looks very realistic, but it only takes someone with a pair of eyes to notice it’s fake (Safe Wise).

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You’re Not Welcome

Wow, we’re not sure who’s going to get around this gate! All jokes aside, it seems like a huge waste of material to install this gate. Anyone could just walk around the other side and access the other corridors. If you’re going to install a gate in your home, make sure it’s installed properly. And “for a gate to be reliable it should be strong and impossible to evade by someone trying to break in. It should withstand its strength through repeated use,” to make sure no potential robbers can use its weak points and break in. If you’re installing one outside, first check with the local laws and hire a professional to help you install the gate (Steel Shield Security).

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Get An Actual Security Dog

Having your pet double as a guard dog is a fantastic way to deter robbers from breaking into your home. One study conducted on burglars concluded that if “a homeowner had a big, loud dog most burglars would stay away,” and a burglar even said, “dogs are a deal breaker for me… Big breeds, home protectors are the best to keep people out.” Getting a family pet is also a great way to bond with your kids and welcome another furry member into your family. A goat may have its own benefits – but security is not one of them. The goat looks friendly and too cute to scare away a potential burglar (ADT).

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If You’re Going To Use A Lock, Use It The Right Way

Either this person was playing a joke, or they don’t understand the mechanics here. In trying to prevent bike theft, they made it pretty easy for a robber to grab their bike and run. With tens of thousands of bike theft incidents per year, you’d think this person would be a little more careful. Certain steps you can take to protect your bike include locking “your frame to an immovable object (one that you can’t slip the strap over). If you only secure your bike through the wheel, a thief will simply remove your wheel and walk off with the rest of the bike,” and make the lock difficult to access. Avoid poles with exposed tops, like this one. It’s also a good idea to lock your bike in front of a CCTV camera, which will further deter a criminal from stealing it (The Best Bike Lock).

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Fake Security Guards Don’t Work

The only time a fake security guard might work to prevent a potential burglary is for a novice robber or someone nervous and antsy. They’ll see the silhouette of a person and run in the opposite direction. But any skilled robber won’t think twice about spotting a fake security guard. This person stopped by their boss’ house and wondered why the door wasn’t opening. It turns out they had a dummy security guard hiding behind the gate. It’s comical, to say the least, but does nothing to prevent an intruder from entering the property (ADS Security).

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No One Will Enter… Or Exit

Securing your home garage is just as important as securing the other areas of your home. If your garage isn’t secure, then anyone can access your home. This person tried to secure their garage by building it in an inaccessible area, which meant no one could enter, or exit. Even if they managed to get a car in there, they’d have to drive it through their house. Unless they have a helicopter. Some ways you can secure your garage include adding a deadbolt, installing home security cameras, using motion-activated lights, and upgrading the interior of your home (Precision Door).

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A Hilarious Way To Prevent Car Theft

Protecting your car is just as important as protecting your home. You wouldn’t want to wake up one morning, only to find that your car’s been stolen. Locking your car at night, keeping the keys safe, and making sure the alarm system is operating are two easy ways to prevent theft. Or, you can do what this person did and lock the gears to the car. If you can’t shift the gears, you can’t move the car. Even though it’s outlandish, it’s smart thinking (Met Police).

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We’re Sorry To Tell You, But Drawings Of the Lock Don’t Work

As hilarious as it is to draw a lock and key, it does nothing to prevent theft. There’s zero security or protection, and if someone saw this, it might entice them to open the cabinet even more. To break into your home or cabinets, burglars can use a series of lock-picking tactics to tamper with your lock. This includes “visible dents and scuff marks around the keyhole. While these are quick and easy to notice, here are specific signs of lock tampering that you can look for and measures you can take to help prevent unauthorized entry.” With a drawn lock and key, you won’t know someone has broken into your cupboard until you look inside. It’s best to use the real thing (Safewise).

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Think Twice About Securing Your Locks

This is a photograph of a “secure” bike shed in Cambridge, United Kingdom. Honestly, there’s nothing secure about this, considering this guy stuck his hand through a hole in the brick wall and touched the handle. Even though the gaps are for ventilation, it’s pretty ironic they chose to ventilate right next to the doorknob. Anyone with common sense can open the door simply by sticking their arm through the handle. It’s best to reinforce your door locks, add a security screen, and install more hardware (The Pro Lock).

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Security At Its Finest

This aunt posted a photograph of their nephew’s security system. The only thing this statue might deter is a skittish dog, not a burglar. It’s a comical way to try and prevent theft, though it fails miserably at doing its job. There are other, more inexpensive ways to install and fake security system, and that includes using fake cameras, dog signs, and a fake keypad (Family Handyman).

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It Looks Ridiculous, But It’s Smart

This dad wanted to install a security system in his home but didn’t yet have the tools, so he improvised. He used several pieces of wood and placed them against the doors to prevent anyone from opening them. Even though it looks ridiculous, it’s a good alternative while you’re waiting to install an actual security system. You can use a piece of wood to secure a sliding door to prevent them from getting pried open (Pinterest).

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You Better Not Drop Your Key

This seems to be concocted by a medieval dungeon master. We’re not entirely sure what the intent is here. Maybe it’s a booby trap and a would-be burglar is sent down a shoot to the dungeons. Or maybe it’s just a really poorly placed vent. Whatever the intention here, it seems like it would just be a headache if you accidentally dropped something down the grate. You definitely wouldn’t ever get it back. (ADT).

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No, You Can’t Use Your Roomba As A Guard

Don’t tape a knife to your Roomba and use it as a bodyguard – that’s just asking for trouble. For one, it’s not safe to attach sharp objects to moving devices, especially if they’re designed for cleaning your floors. Plus, trying to use a Roomba with a knife as a bodyguard is like trying to fight off a bear with a feather duster – it’s not going to end well. Stick to using your Roomba for what it’s meant for, and leave the self-defense to Chuck Norris. (Alfred Camera).

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Install Proper Gate Locks

When this person showed up at their AirBnB, they realized something strange. The host told them to lock the gate, though when they went to turn the lock, they realized there was no protection. Anyone with an arm and hand can open the lock by sticking their arm through the opening. Someone must have forgotten the simple rules of installing a security system. Don’t make it easy to access. To install it properly, drill holes in the sides, use sturdy nails and screws, and make it inaccessible (Do It Yourself).

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Be Strategic With Your Locks

This person was not strategic. We’re not sure what this is supposed to do, but they decided to loop a chain through the doors. There’s also a chain through the interior of the vehicle. While it may confuse a robber, it might not prevent them from stealing your car. If you’re worried about your car getting stolen, it’s best to invest in a steering wheel lock that immobilizes the steering wheel (GV Lock).

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Always Hide Your Door Codes

Did this person want to invite a robber into their home? Posting the door code completely defeats the purpose of a keypad. It’s better to not even have the keypad in the first place. They should just get rid of their door and leave it wide open. To enhance your home security, never post your home code anywhere in sight. Using a keypad is a great way to access your home security system if an intruder tries to enter the wrong combination into your home (Eaton).

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